Querify MonoItem collection
Factored out of https://github.com/rust-lang/rust/pull/131650. These changes are required for post-mono MIR opts, because the previous implementation would load the MIR for every Instance that we traverse (as well as invoke queries on it). The cost of that would grow massively with post-mono MIR opts because we'll need to load new MIR for every Instance, instead of re-using the `optimized_mir` for every Instance with the same DefId.
So the approach here is to add two new queries, `items_of_instance` and `size_estimate`, which contain the specific information about an Instance's MIR that MirUsedCollector and CGU partitioning need, respectively. Caching these significantly increases the size of the query cache, but that's justified by our improved incrementality (I'm sure walking all the MIR for a huge crate scales quite poorly).
This also changes `MonoItems` into a type that will retain the traversal order (otherwise we perturb a bunch of diagnostics), and will also eliminate duplicate findings. Eliminating duplicates removes about a quarter of the query cache size growth.
The perf improvements in this PR are inflated because rustc-perf uses `-Zincremental-verify-ich`, which makes loading MIR a lot slower because MIR contains a lot of Spans and computing the stable hash of a Span is slow. And the primary goal of this PR is to load less MIR. Some squinting at `collector profile_local perf-record +stage1` runs suggests the magnitude of the improvements in this PR would be decreased by between a third and a half if that flag weren't being used. Though this effect may apply to the regressions too since most are incr-full and this change also causes such builds to encode more Spans.
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